OfPonderingWandering

Recently, I read through Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and wow, what an amazing read. As a Type One Diabetic, Manson’s ‘big idea’ behind suffering stood out to me the most. 

Paraphrasing here, Manson’s idea touched on the Buddhist concept of life as a continual vessel for suffering, ‘Life is Dukkha’. Yet, before we dive in, I must say that Dukkha is often mistranslated. A more apt translation is along the lines of dissatisfaction or discomfort, which is not as extreme as suffering. (Thanks to a Buddhism class in Uni)

After setting up this concept, Manson hits us with a glimpse of a beautiful philosophy: 

‘If life is all suffering…’ 

‘Why don’t we try to upgrade our suffering?’

This simple insight has profound implications. Sure, suffering is an innate and uncontrollable aspect of life. Yet, we can control what our suffering is, ‘Choose your battles’, as they say. Additionally, we are able to reframe our suffering as necessary or as a ‘lesser evil’.

I have two examples in mind for this, take the life of someone suffering from an alcohol addiction. Here, they have two paths of suffering, either the suffering of staying addicted and shame, or the suffering of abstinence and discipline. Equally, the aspiring gym-goer faces the suffering of not working and the pain of bad physical health, or they face the pain of working out, and maintaining their routine.

Already, this line of thinking is beautiful, for it empowers the practitioner with choice. And informed choice no less, for we know both paths are painful, yet one is nobler than the other. In life, some of the only things we can truly change are the choices we make. So why shouldn’t we have a say in our suffering? Or at least, have the choice to change how we look at it. 

Should we not look to upgrade our problems in small and manageable steps? Sure, being addicted to social media has its problems, and staying offline has its problems too. Yet now look at this, nothing in life is truly black and white, since we are fully informed with what the outcomes are, we can take steps towards problem solving and even compromises (If need be)!

Five hours of social media use is a problem, but Four and a half hours of social media use is still a problem, but less of a problem. 

On the other hand, 

Zero use of social media is a problem, yet, thirty minutes of social media use is still a problem, but less of one. 

It is all in how we frame the problem, and the stance we take. We cannot have everything in life, hence we must begin to change our expectations and ‘compromise’ our previous plans. We are given a choice here, and that choice is, ‘What will our suffering be?’ Such a choice will ultimately give way to our endurance, ‘To choose our suffering is to endure our suffering.’

Now you may be wondering, how do we go about choosing our suffering? Allow me to introduce you to marco and micro decision making. 

On Marco and Micro Decisions. 

Choosing between macro decisions is like choosing a path to hike down after a fork in the road. Whichever macro decision you choose (x path or y path) directly influences the micro bumps in the way that you will come across along your journey. Once more, this deeply empowers you to make the right choice, and even gives the potential power to make better choices in the same ballpark as the macro decision. If you have done all this work for the macro decision, why not stretch a little bit more while making another decision. What is an extra $10 to an $250 dollar purchase? 

 For example: 

Marco decision 1: Going to the gym. 

Micro decisions: working out, waking up earlier, Getting outside more, Healthier eating, Supplements, Exercise partners, Community, etc.

Do you see what I mean? Besides mandatory micro decisions (completing the action, i.e gym), micro decisions have a ‘Might as well’ vibe to them, the macro decision we make directly affects what micro decisions we will make in pursuit of that macro decision. So choose wisely!

What is this all for?

What does choice have to do with upgrading our suffering? As I mentioned earlier, choice empowers you, and gives you control to do something about it. If living with a chronic illness (Type One Diabetes) for nearly half of my life has taught me anything, it’s that no matter what I do, my Diabetes will always find an unique way to mess with me. However, I can certainly  choose and direct the ways it messes with me. I can make two marco-decisions here, choose a life of peace, or choose a life of perfection. These ‘campaigns’ ultimately influence the battles (micro-decisions) I make. Either choosing to rage-bolus (take too much medication) when my blood sugar is high or out of range (Perfection option). Or choosing to trust my blood sugar to come down over time (Peaceful option). As you can see, the big choices/changes you make directly affect the skirmishes you will find yourself in daily. 

On Happiness. 

Happiness is like a mirage in the desert, promising us with a far-off paradise while distracting us from harvesting the prickly cacti that contain the water we need. Speaking from my own experience, we constantly anchor ourselves in pursuit of some far off mirage that will satisfy every desire we have. But this is merely a mirage, for once we get there, sure we have what we want, but we are ultimately left empty, as now our life has no direction (It’s worthwhile to mention that Western Society has been conditioned to think  like this). We then end up in a rush completing as many goals as possible to see if we can eventually get that happiness we so desire. By the end of it, we are overworked, overburdened, and exhausted. 

Happiness is not some far off goal, nor dependent on xyz to occur (promotion, new car, etc). Happiness is a present state stemming from meaningful and informed choices that we make around our burdens of suffering. Which lead to certain consequences that drive our life.

Life is full of suffering, each choice we make leads down a unique path of suffering, relevant to that choice. 

What will your choices be? 

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