OfPonderingWandering

Written at 9am, Jan 1st 2026.

Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem states, “Within systems there exist statements which are true, but cannot be proven (via the systems means).”

Dumb analogy but: while it’s true we all have a pancreas, but formally (without any technology, say someone from the 1800s) cannot truly prove that they have a pancreas (without external means).

While this theorem is designed for use within the sciences- I have found an application within one’s self-journey.

The current perspective we have is a mix of our own experiences (cultural, social, education, class) and characteristics of ourselves (ethnicity, background, sex). Which (for better or for worse) informs interaction between the individual and the greater system at hand.

For example, from a young age we are raised to conform to certain gender norms; boys like blue, girls like pink. Later, this can inform interactions with the world (and even change the individual to better shape the world). For instance, girls get told they like pink, then go on to develop an intrinsic interest for pink, then a preference. All the while blue could very damn well be something they like (a true statement) but because of their “close-minded” or rather indoctrinated perspective they do not have the cognitive/perceptual capacity to “prove” that they actually like blue- because of their past experiences, the thought of liking blue is never given much airtime.

Of course, this is a very pared down and binary example. There exist girls who like blue, and boys who like pink- and fortunately in the modern age, gender is being questioned, which provides us with leeway from the overarching “gender forms.”

Perspective of Incompleteness:

What I want to drive home is this: The Gödel Argument states that (internally) unprovable truths exist within systems.

Our capacity for thinking, reasoning, and learning from experience is most certainly a system. Therefore, there are certain truths- or to broaden the scope, “facets”- within our conscious lives, which we can never prove/experience.

In my own experience:

I want to tie this to my own experience with inner work. I have recently begun to make my deep rooted and habituated (An Aristotle  concept: characteristics which are informed through early experience then are reinforced through feedback loops) subconscious fear of rejection conscious.

In doing so, I have learned that there are certain experiences or truths which I have forgone simply because there were not within my conscious experience.

To use a strong example, even opening up to, and asking a friend for help, was not within my consciousness- rather I was content on keeping the status quo- surface level relationships, and never something deep- which requires vulnerability and openness.

I’m sad to admit that this has costed me friendships, experiences, and intimacy with people. Yet I cannot truly blame myself for this, because I genuinely did not know- I was so gripped by fear that I lost sight of who I am.

I also know that I am not the only one who is stuck within their cognitive system, this is an unfortunate part of being human. Some people get stuck in a certain perspective which they never learn to break- or experience something broader.

The question becomes: How do we think the unthinkable?

The Multidisciplinary Approach 

As I currently stand- or rather lay in my bed, who I currently am cannot truly imagine what living a life that is not controlled by the fear of rejection. 

While it is true that I’ve done plenty of work to loosen the grip that this fear has, my experience is still informed by this “past truth” or rather fear that I am reject-able.

I will add, that of course this fear is not rational, it belongs to the inner child, and that makes it all the more potent and subconscious…

Circling back to my internal work: I feel as though I’ve reached the limit of my work. I have proven many truths, yet there still exist some that while I am somewhat aware of; I alone cannot prove.

This is a callback to Gödel’s theorem, there are some truths that systems cannot prove with internal means. The solution? External systems with means that can prove such truths.

To ground this, a friend once told me the following, “To be an adult means having open and vulnerable relationships.” That stuck with me, and slowly led to a new chapter in my life- one which I am still learning to walk.

So, one of the only ways to face these unprovable or even unthinkable truths is through friendships, and certainly open and vulnerable friendships.

The Encounter with an Unseen Truth

I would like to leave us with an example: I recently moved out, and three of my good friends helped- without me asking.

That simple external fact alone shock my internal system and gave me a glimpse of a truth which I had never seen before: That my fear of rejection is just that- a fear, not a truth. I was given counter evidence.

While I am certainly not completly there, I am just merely passing the threshold, I thought I would write about it, and share gratitude with my friends who I am fortunate enough to share life with, thank you. 

Encounter

Evidence 

Outgrow 

Embody 

Give back